Are your friends holding you back from a great relationship?

By Margaret, 17 March, 2014.
6 ways to move from single to lots of possible relationships

Do you love to get together with your friends and complain about how hard it is to meet a partner?

Does it regularly turn into a whinge session when you and your friends are relaxing and should be having a good time? Does the conversation almost always turns to "Where are all the decent, intelligent guys who aren't married" or  "Why aren't there any outgoing, fun loving, attractive ladies out there?" It's a perfect opportunity to share stories of the strange people you met with online dating. You can compete for the best horror story about how you fell for a sweet, interesting girl/guy who seemed like real relationship material, only to find out they were married or a drug addict.

In no time at all you can work yourselves up  into a state of misery and start singing "Poor, poor pitiful me."  Misery loves company and it is a coping strategy. But do you really think this is going to help your situation?

Why not be an example to your friends and change the dynamics next time you are together? Here are some suggestions that will put a different slant on the situation and maybe gain a different outcome.

If you say something enough times, it becomes true. If you constantly say that it's too hard to meet suitable partners, that will be your truth because you won't even see them when they are staring you in the face.

Challenge your friends to adopt a more positive attitude. Show your friends that having the right attitude will bring a different outcome - Knowing that your partner is out there and will arrive at the right time.

There is usually a leader in any group who takes the first step in a different direction. You can be that leader and be an inspiration to them. You can inspire your friends to dream more, learn more, do more and become more.

If there is a need to vent and get something off your chest, set a time limit. Two minutes should be the limit and then move the conversation on to the fun activities you have planned.

You can stick with "I'm picky", "The best ones are all married" or "There's not enough single men/women in my area". But that isn't leading you to your desired outcome.

Do you or your friends really make an effort to change things. Many singles say they do, but one of the biggest things keeping them in the same place is lack of action. Are you going to singles events and our fabulous dinners?

An ancient native proverb goes:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied,

“The one you feed.”


Margaret Newitt


Ph 1300 885 311

lic no 3338670