Choose a new empowering perspective

By Margaret, 24 June, 2018.
Choose a new empowering perspective

Many of our members have found themselves unexpectedly single.  Perhaps, like me, they lost someone through illness. Or their relationship ended because they grew apart. In any of these situations, there is a period of grief.

The end of any relationship means the end of a whole phase of your life. The end of shared happiness, fears and plans for the future. Every relationship has its own story and every ending is hard in its own way.

This week, I am going to focus on my perspective about the loss of my relationship. I am going to ask myself this question, "Does my perspective serve me and who I am becoming?"

In my case, it is very reasonable to feel disbelief, sadness and anger. But does that empower me to become more peaceful and accepting? I can be sad and angry about the sudden loss of Reg. I can ask why and what if, but will that help me create acceptance and a peaceful mindset?

So, I'm going to as myself, "How can I see this differently?

I was lucky to have such a wonderful relationship. We had a lot of good times. He taught me a lot about what is really important in relationships.

The important thing is not to come up with a rose-coloured glasses interpretation that feels too unrealistic. A new perspective that feels empowering will help you move forward to how you would like your life to be.

If you had a  relationship break up and you didn't want to, it can be a bitter pill to swallow. You wonder how they could so easily turn their back on you and all that you shared. Getting stuck in  the "how could they? " and the "they didn't realise what they had" will stop you from seeing the big picture.

Change your thinking from "If only we had done this differently" to "What can I learn from this and take with me into a future relationship?"

Maybe you stopped getting to know each other and spending special time together. Maybe you both forgot to prioritise each other and to being a team. There will be a lesson in the ending of the relationship that you can apply in your life and future relationships.

I know I won't achieve that mindset all of the time. If I can change my perspective even for  a little while, I know I am headed in the right direction.

“It’s not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.” — Kristin Armstrong

I hope you can adopt an empowering mindset about relationships this week.

Margaret Newitt
1300 885 311

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