By Margaret, 27 January, 2014.
What is it that makes us want a close relationship? Is it someone to share those special moments with? We want more out of a relationship than just beautiful, romantic holiday photos. We want someone to share a vision and a future. Someone to share an insight into the meaning of life.

It's natural to look for someone that kind of synergy. If we find it, it can be nurtured with effective communication. As an individual, we can only go so far in learning about the boundaries we have created for ourselves. But our close relationships teach us the most about ourselves and the world.

Falling in love is often a matter of chemistry. We are attracted to a person by forces outside of our conscious awareness. We meet someone and depending on how things work out, we may commit to them. However, what make s the difference to the success and longevity of the relationship isn't determination to stick to together no matter what. It is how effectively we relate to each other.

The true strength of any relationship depends on how resilient it is in handling all of the circumstances life can and does throw at it. A relationship that makes a conscious effort to nurture rapport will have a much better chance of not only surviving, but thriving in any circumstance.

Here are some strategies that can help;

Courtesy It sounds simple, but just allowing someone to speak without interrupting or judging them is one of the most important gifts we can give another. Too often we are eager to interrupt and give our side of the issue. Listening and acknowledging you hear and understand how they feel builds a bridge and allows for healthy communication.

Responsibility No one else can make you feel a certain way. "You make me angry when you forget to pick up your clothes." gives someone else the power over how you feel. Explaining that you feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with all the chores would be a more workable suggestion. Moving towards a solution like "Perhaps we could hire someone to help once a week."

Honest and assertive expression We can't expect any other human being to guess how we feel abut certain circumstances. Even the most dedicated partner won't anticipate every time we need help or feel upset about something. Becoming angry or disappointed will only produce confusion and misunderstanding. It's best to present our desires and needs directly with manipulation.

Flow A favourite little phrase of mine is "With ease and grace" It's much easier to take things as they come. things have a way of working them selves out if we get out of the way for that to happen. Resisting waht comes up just adds weight t our problems. What seems a huge problem can look very different after a good nights sleep. If your partner seems unhappy or not communication well, give them some space. They will be most likely to work through it themselves. We can roll with each other's moods without getting drawn into them. Keep the lines of communication open while giving some space will help move through this with a fair amount of ease.

Making a relationship a priority and finding common ground will go along way to building a strong relationship.


Margaret Newitt

1300 885 311