Focus more on others to make an impression

By Margaret, 10 June, 2014.
Why do we focus too much on ourselves while at a party, at dinner or in any social situation in stead of focusing toward the people we are talking to?

As humans, we have a need for validation and approval. It makes us feel good about ourselves. But if you become too needy and ramble on too much about yourself and your life, even though the other person may not be listening very attentively, it can lead to a downward spiral. You crave the attention and validation more and are less likely to achieve it.

Positive or negative approval are really only as important as you decide they are. You are what you think you are and the world is what you think it is. If you try too hard to impress someone you may come over as needy rather then impressive, interesting or cool.

When you start to care less about what other people think and say about you, you will gain freedom to actually take the focus off yourself and have a genuine interest in other people you meet.

If you develop this skill, you will stand out from the crowd and you will be an exciting person to talk to. Especially since most people's favorite topic is themselves.

It's a good idea to focus on what the other person is interested in. Asking questions, and actually listening to what they are saying. Its tempting to wait until they are finished for your turn to speak again. To really listen is another skill that can be developed.

Dale Carnegie referred to this topic:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”


Margaret Newitt


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