No, I don't want that in a partner

By Margaret, 15 October, 2018.
One third of marriages are now expected to end in divorce. And yet, when it happens to us, we are often very surprised and/or devastated.

The singles and dating scene seems intimidating. It’s a whole new ball game and seems so different than when we were younger. How should we even approach the daunting task of finding someone new to share your life with?

A great way to start is by doing a little spring-cleaning of yourself. Just as you would prepare for a new position at work, or clean the house before guests arrive, you must prepare yourself before you “place yourself on the market” so to speak. It’s a matter of presenting yourself in your best possible light.

Here are some things you could do that may or may not apply to you;

  1. Get a haircut or new hairdo

  2. Spring clean your wardrobe and update

  3. Go to the gym or undertake some sort of exercise

  4. Take up or resume some hobbies so that you have some interesting conversation to contribute

  5. Clear out the residue of previous partner from your home

I often find that singles starting out on this journey have a list of things they don’t want in a new relationship. If your focus is on those negative aspects, that is exactly what you will attract again.

Instead, start thinking about what you would like in a new relationship.
You could make a list of the values and temperament that are important to you.
Think about what you want and expect from a relationship.
Then have a serious think about what you offer and provide yourself.

If it is important to you to have a partner who is well presented or fit and trim, then you will need to ensure you fit into that category as well. Why not present yourself in the best possible way? We are all visual creatures.

If you are well groomed, neatly dressed and good posture, it shows that you value yourself.

If sincerity and honesty are high on your list of requirements, then you had better make sure you show up that way as well.

Often, people say that "everyone" is insincere, just playing games or has no idea how to treat a partner. That is of no consequence to you. Thank  them for showing you who they are so you don't waste any more time getting to know them.

Show up as open, warm, friendly, interested in others, having integrity and enjoying your life. When a partner comes along who is also like that, they will see you for who you are, and will definitely be drawn to you.

This is where the value is for you.
It’s good to know what is important to you and what you value in a relationship, but what you have to offer is much more important.
The qualities you display will determine the people who are attracted to spend time with you and get to know you.


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Margaret Newitt
1300 885 311