The Secret To Knowing If you Should Date Them

By Margaret, 22 October, 2023.

When you're in a new relationship and you want to learn more about your partner to determine if you should continue, it's important to approach the process with sensitivity, respect, and an open mind. Here are some tips on how to ask questions that will help you better understand your partner and make an informed decision:

  • Start with open-ended questions: Instead of asking yes-or-no questions, ask open-ended questions that encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of asking, "Do you want kids?" you can ask, "What are your thoughts about starting a family in the future?"

  • Listen actively: Pay close attention to their responses and show genuine interest in what they're saying. Make eye contact, nod, and ask follow-up questions to delve deeper into their thoughts and feelings.


Create a comfortable environment: Choose a relaxed and comfortable setting for these conversations, where both of you can speak openly and honestly without feeling pressured or judged.

  • Be honest and vulnerable: Share your own thoughts and feelings too. This helps create a more balanced and open dialogue. It's essential to be authentic and open about your own desires and concerns.

  • Ask about values and goals: Questions about values, life goals, and long-term plans can help you understand if you are compatible in the long run. For example, you can ask about their career aspirations, family values, and personal growth objectives.

  • Discuss past experiences: Talk about past relationships and experiences. This can provide insights into their relationship history, what they've learned from past mistakes, and what they're looking for in a partner now.

  • Ask about deal-breakers: Discuss what would be deal-breakers for both of you in a relationship. It's important to know if there are any fundamental differences or issues that could prevent a successful long-term partnership.

  • Communication and conflict resolution: Ask about their communication style and how they handle conflicts. Healthy communication and conflict resolution skills are crucial for a successful relationship.

  • Hobbies and interests: Learn about their hobbies, interests, and what they enjoy doing in their free time. This can help you understand if you share common interests or if you're willing to support each other's individual passions.

  • Family and friends: Discuss your relationships with family and friends, as these can significantly impact a romantic relationship. Understanding each other's dynamics with loved ones is important.

  • Take your time: Don't rush the process. Getting to know someone takes time, and you don't need to ask all these questions in one sitting. Let the relationship evolve naturally while having these conversations over time.

  • Trust your instincts: Pay attention to your gut feelings. If something doesn't feel right or you notice red flags, don't ignore them.

  • Remember that while asking questions is essential for understanding your partner, it's equally important to give the relationship time to develop and grow. Keep in mind that people can change and evolve over time, so regular communication and ongoing understanding are key to a healthy and successful relationship.

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